The First Time
by SeekerOfMagick
Summary: Looking back, there had always been signs that Remus was closer to Sirius than his other two friends-but it wasn't until the boys were fifteen that Lyall started wondering if that closeness went beyond just simple friendship. Little moments jumble together, and Lyall is left with the impression that his son is quite smitten with the heir to the Noble House of Black.


This particular story was written for V. Sourweather's The Marauders Era Challenge, using the prompt _word: first_.

**story rating:** K+

**story summary:** Looking back, there had always been signs that Remus was closer to Sirius Black than his other two friends-but it wasn't until the boys were fifteen that Lyall started truly wondering if that closeness went beyond just simple friendship. Three particular moments that take place over the course of roughly a year and a half, along with a jumble of other "little moments" that Lyall might have otherwise ignored, lead him to the conclusion that his son was, in fact, quite smitten.

_x August 1975 x_

The Sun was beating down on him now-a merciful blessing when compared to the heat of the summer night that had held the moon, swollen to full. He thought bitterly that he and Hope used to love nights when the moon was full; in fact, their third date had been a picnic under a moonlit spot in the woods. Lyall had charmed a few candles to float around them, and Hope had done things with roasted chicken that Lyall hadn't known was even possible. It had been a very wonderful, very romantic night, and Lyall still remembered it as the night he fell in love.

Now the full moon brought only guilt, pain, and sadness. It was a constant reminder of the worst mistake he would ever make: the mistake that ultimately cost his son his sense of safety and stability. The mistake that forced his son to carry vicious wounds every month-the same mistake that had ultimately forced his son to transition from the bundle of energy that he had once been to the quiet, anxious boy he was now.

Lyall only snapped out of his guilty thoughts when the potent odor of the Slug and Jiggers Apothecary infiltrated his nostrils. The elderly man behind the front counter looked up, smiling at him. Lyall wasn't exactly a regular-ordinarily, the apothecary back home held the potions that Remus needed after the transformations-but he still had made plenty of stops there when he couldn't get something back in Yorkshire.

"Ah, hello!" the old man said.

"Hello. I'm here for some Pain Relieving potion."

"Certainly, certainly. 'Cross the lane there, and just to your left."

It was the same exchange that they used practically every time. Lyall knew where it was-the owner likely knew that he knew where it was. He wasn't even sure why they said the same thing every time he came in, but they did nonetheless.

He was quiet as the old man asked for the price and he pulled out the money. The man might have said something or another in an effort to make amiable conversation, but Lyall was too busy thinking of Remus back home to pay him much mind.

Essentially as soon as he had purchased the much-needed potion he Disapparated, and the hustle and bustle of Diagon Alley were replaced by the relative quiet of the woods. It was still early, and a few birds were still singing merrily. Lyall distantly wondered if perhaps they were mocking him.

It took him a moment to realize, as he walked into the sitting room, that he heard voices. Neither belonged to his wife-they were the voices of boys. It was only the next day after the full moon, and Remus was typically too exhausted to do much in the way of carrying a conversation-yet there Lyall stood, hearing the quiet voice of his son and the one that Lyall recognized as that of Sirius Black.

It wasn't the first time Remus' friends had come to visit him after a transformation, but it was the first time that they had come over when neither Lyall nor Hope had been around to supervise. In the beginning it was because Lyall couldn't quite bring himself to trust them-especially not Sirius, the heir to the Black family-but, eventually, it simply became the ordinary way of things.

He stood at the foot of the staircase, listening. They were laughing, they were having a bit of fun-Remus was having a bit of fun, so soon after the full moon. Lyall felt his hands squeeze the throat of the potion bottle: he would do anything if only he could ensure Remus would be happy. He knew that was all Hope wanted, too.

Lyall quietly ascended the staircase, being careful of the fourth and eighth steps-they liked to creak.

"You ought to have seen him," Sirius Black was saying. "He looked like a puffer fish!"

"I think I'm glad I didn't. Sounds like it would have been disgusting."

The other boy laughed. "Yeah, yeah-but hilarious. Nott always tries to give such airs. Good to have him knocked down a peg or two."

Lyall was standing just outside Remus's door now, unwilling to interrupt them. It was strange to be able to observe his son's interactions without either of them knowing that he was there. Children often behaved differently with one another when they knew adults were present, and while he had seen the happy interactions in a handful of previous months before, this was something altogether different.

As far as Lyall was aware, none of Remus's friends had ever been able to visit after the full moon (not outside of Hogwarts, anyway). It was always before. Even if he had tried he would not be able to find the words to describe how happy it made him, hearing the light, joyful tone that Remus was using-so soon afterward! It was incredible.

So lost in thoughts was he that it took him a moment to realize that the children had stopped talking. The silence felt more amiable than awkward, and after a few moments he was about to let his presence be known. But before Lyall was able to make a move, he heard his son's quiet voice: "You're not supposed to be here, are you?"

This time the silence was a bit pained, although he wasn't sure why.

"No, I'm not. But it doesn't matter-"

"Of course it matters! Sirius, I don't want you to get in trouble. Not for me."

"You're a lot more than worth it, you know." There was a such a strange, eerie quality to the way that Sirius Black said it that Lyall felt the previous joy ebbing away, now replaced only by firm gratitude for another person who seen Remus for what he was worth. "I'm more than happy to get in trouble for you."

"Sirius, I don't like that. I don't want to be the cause of anything, I don't want her to do anything, you should go home-"

"Balderdash!" the other boy chided. "Trust me: she's gone and I'm not going to get into trouble. I was careful, I always am. You know that. I'll be back again before she's any the wiser."

There were a few moments where neither of the boys said anything, and Lyall didn't dare to move; he didn't want to interrupt them. Finally, he heard Sirius give out a small laugh as he said, "You're always so cute when you have the Lupin Worried Face."

It struck Lyall rather abruptly that despite the laugh there was no joking in Sirius's voice, and the man could not help but admit that most fourteen-year-old boys didn't talk to one another like that.

Remus might have said something in response-he wasn't sure, for he decided it was as good a time as any to let his presence be known. When he entered his son's room to deliver the potion and greet Sirius Black, the boys were sitting an amicable distance from one another. Yet still, that was the first time that Lyall ever truly wondered about their friendship.

_x July 1976 x_

The second time he truly wondered was when the crippling heat of the summer night kept him and his wife up. The two of them laid together in companionable silence for at least a half hour before Hope gave up. She rose from the bed, her long hair ruffled and her faded pink nightgown wrinkling from the movements.

"Where are you off to?" he mumbled.

"Just down to get a glass of water, dear. Would you like some?"

There was perspiration beginning to collect on the back of his neck. "If you wouldn't mind."

Hope walked out of the room, and he listened to the thump, thump, thump sound of his wife's retreating footsteps. Lyall stared out the window: in the darkness of the room he could see the big oak tree, as steady as ever. There was no wind in heat like this, it seemed.

Lyall waited as the seconds ticked into minutes, and after what must have been nearly fifteen he decided to get up from the comfort of the bed and look for Hope. He fumbled only a bit in the darkness-after all, they had lived in that cottage for over a decade, and he knew his way around well enough. The gentle snores of one of Remus's friends filtered through the bedroom door; the three of them had visited the Lupins' house and brought with them boisterous laughter, playful smirks, and delightful ribbing of one another. It was in sharp contrast to the usually quiet and calm that he had known his home to be, but it brought a certain type of joy to Remus that Lyall could only remember being present before the incident, and so even if he disliked the children's presence-which he didn't-he would have been more than happy of their company for that reason alone.

As he moved closer to the landing of the stairs he heard quiet laughter coming from the kitchen, and Sirius Black indignantly claiming to be the best of the best-or some other such arrogant nonsense. He rounded the corner to see his wife, son, and the aforementioned boy sitting at the table together. Sirius, in particular, looked as though he was trying very hard, and failing very miserably, to look as stern and serious as possible.

"I'm telling you, Lupin. I've got Potter beat," the boy said, jerking his thumb at Remus. "He wouldn't stand a chance against me."

"No?" Remus's eyebrows quirked in the same way that his mother's always did when she was fighting very hard to not show her disbelief. "To be sure, you're claiming that James would never be able to best you in a duel?"

"Nope."

"Never?"

"Definitely never. Hey, Mr Lupin!" Sirius's eyes landed on Lyall, who was still standing in the doorway of the room.

Hope twisted in her seat-she had been facing away from him, watching her son and his friend laughing together. "I'm sorry, dear," she said pleasantly. "I was coming up soon, but I'm afraid I got a bit distracted."

"No worries, darling," he said. Lyall crossed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her in a hug. "I came down to make sure you hadn't been carried off by hinkypuffs or some such."

"Oh no! Mr Lupin, you're going to start sounding like Vierheller in a minute."

Remus chuckled softly as he turned to his parents and said, "Professor Vierheller has confessed to a bit of an irrational fear of hinkypuffs."

Hope sniffed, amusement clear. "And what is a hinkypuff?"

It was Sirius, somewhat unsurprisingly, that launched into an explanation of the wispy creatures. Hope listened politely, but Lyall noticed that she had the same look on her face that she always wore whenever something puzzled her, and so he knew that she wasn't really listening to anything he said.

Sirius was still chatting amicably with Remus laughing softly beside them when Lyall realized that it was already two in the morning.

"Well, boys," he said, smiling. "I believe it might be time to head back to bed! I think you two have done more than enough late night conversing, don't you think?"

Remus smiled shyly, and Lyall couldn't help but quietly consider that a statement like that would have upset him when he was a younger child, overly anxious to please all those around him. The children scampered off, leaving their glasses of water on the table. Hope moved to remove the drinking cups so that she could give them a quick wash before the two of them returned to their own bedroom. Yet there was a curious glint to her eye.

"What is it?" he asked quietly. They had known each other for a long time now, and he knew that she would understand what he meant as soon as the words left his lips.

"I . . . am not quite sure." Her back was still to him so he could not see her face. "But Lyall, have you ever . . . wondered . . . have you ever . . . I'm not sure. I'm not sure."

Now she was facing him. There was no anxiety in her face, but instead was the expression always wore when she was so close to understanding something that had been kept for her. Clearly she wasn't upset, so he wasn't worried-but he was curious. Undeniably curious.

"What happened?"

"Well . . . I came in here, and Remus and Sirius were talking. They didn't notice me at first. They weren't saying anything out of the ordinary. But the way that they were looking at each other, I just. . . ."

A light of inspiration seemed to strike her, and there was a steadiness in her eyes when she looked at him again, hands on her hips. "Lyall, Remus has never brought a girl home. Or really talked about one."

No, he hadn't. Lyall had always assumed it was because Remus was shy and unwilling to get anyone close less they discover his secret. He swallowed and pushed the miserable thought away.

"But the way they were looking at one another, I . . . I'm not mistaken. I'm definitely not. Lyall, do you suppose that he and Sirius might be a bit more than friends?"

Lyall shrugged, but he could feel a tired smile tugging at his lips. He had wondered the very same thing the summer before, and since then nothing major had occurred to tickle his curiosity-but it was undeniably true that Remus was, and had always been, closer to Sirius Black than either James or Peter. "I'm sure anything is possible."

That night he managed to fall asleep in the heat of the summer and fall into happy dreams of their family.

_x December 1976 x_

Remus came home for Christmas that year. It was positively delightful for Hope, who cherished any time she was able to spend with their son, and Lyall himself couldn't help but be joyous. Remus often preferred to stay at Hogwarts over the Yuletide weeks, because the full moon always loomed near the solstice, and at Hogwarts he was safe and could be taken care of by Madam Pomfrey, instead of the potential threat of a terrible visit to St. Mungo's. But Remus had written to them that year wanting to know if it was alright if he could spend the holidays home-as if he ever needed to ask!

The fire was crackling pleasantly as Lyall sat in the armchair, reading about an outbreak of Dragonpox near Essex from the Prophet. If he concentrated he could hear Hope moving around in the kitchen, preparing breakfast. Lyall's attention was averted from the newspaper when he realized that Remus was coming down the stairs, his night clothes still ruffled and eyes still a little bleary. He had just woken up.

"Good morning, Remus," said Lyall. "How are you?"

Remus smiled as he took the seat next to him and pulled out a book Lyall hadn't realized he had been holding. It was his Transfiguration textbook. "A bit sleepy, but I'm sure I'll come 'round," he said.

"I should hope so," said Lyall pleasantly. "I have a feeling your friends would be disappointed if you fell asleep on them."

For James Potter and Sirius Black were coming to visit the Lupin family once again-Peter, who Remus said was away with his family, wouldn't be around until after the full moon. There was a time before when that would have frightened Lyall quite a lot: after all, he didn't want to risk anyone finding out his son's illness, and he also didn't want Remus to be torn away from his friendships. It made Lyall happy every single time he thought about how the boys had stuck by him, despite his lycanthropy, when Lyall had previously been so certain that they would abandon him the minute the secret was out.

"I'm sure they would be," said Remus softly. But he wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to Lyall. Instead, his neck was bent over, eyes focused on the text in hand. The thought struck Lyall that he must have looked much the same way when he was still a boy in school.

The two of them settled into comfortable silence until Hope called them to the breakfast table. It wasn't a huge breakfast, as neither Lyall nor Remus were ones to eat a lot in the early hours, but the eggs and toast and sausage were positively delicious anyhow. Remus chatted happily about his newest Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, told them of his dislike for Potions (which always made Lyall laugh-Remus really was a great deal like him), told them of the challenges that Transfiguration posed, and his friends: he talked of nearly nothing but his friends, and how James Potter was a fabulous Quidditch player, of how Peter Pettigrew was an astounding artist, and of how Sirius Black was as brilliant as always.

In fact, Remus talked quite a lot about Sirius Black.

There was a look in Hope's eyes-the same look she had worn that previous summer, when she had suggested to Lyall that maybe, just maybe, Remus was in love with his best friend.

As they finished their breakfast and Remus moved to do the dishes, Lyall heard a clanging noise from the sitting room, accompanied by James Potter's voice.

"Ow-Merlin, Sirius, would you get off?"

"Maybe you should think about this next time you think of another great idea to get that house-elf of yours a gift of-"

"That's Corky you're talking about!"

"Yeah, well, Corky ought to have known better than to do that anyhow."

"Shut it, Black."

Remus had abruptly stopped the dishes when he heard his friends' arrival, and there was a certain look of happiness in his eyes that made Lyall smile. Remus ran off to greet them in the sitting room, all but forgetting the dishes, to which Hope smoothly picked up once again, a small smile playing at her lips.

"You're here!" he heard Remus say.

"We're here," said Sirius sunnily. Then he said something else that Lyall couldn't quite make out, but it made Remus laugh as Sirius made an oomph sound. "Watch it, Potter!"

The three boys clambered into the kitchen. James gave them his best-winning smile as he said, "Good morning Mr and Mrs Lupin! Happy Christmas!"

"Happy Christmas," greeted Hope.

Sirius was grinning as he exchanged the pleasantries as well. Suddenly, Lyall felt like he was looking at Sirius Black for the very first time.

When Remus had written home to them in his first year and told them about who he had made friends with, Lyall had been concerned. After all, Sirius Black was Sirius Black, whose family was full of ill-concealed Dark witches and wizards, full of people who had no time of day for half-bloods or Muggles or blood traitors. It was a family as black as its name, and Lyall knew there were ancestors that had adored such horrible things as hunting Muggles, Muggle-borns . . . and werewolves, as well as other "part"-humans.

But Remus had sworn that Sirius was different, that he had to be different. When after his second year Remus came home and told them that his friends had found out, and not only had they found out but they stayed by his side-Lyall, for the first time since hearing the boy's name, considered that maybe he really was different.

He didn't trust it, though. He had already seen too many horrible things in the world to be very optimistic, even when he wanted to be, and Remus' friendship with Sirius was a frightening one. Lyall felt sure that their friendship was destined to end in disaster.

Looking at him now, though, Lyall wondered if perhaps he saw what Remus saw: a courageous boy on the way to becoming a courageous man, who was at once both incredibly generous to his friends and still managed to maintain his hot-headed nature. A boy who was fiercely loyal, determined, and charming, but also compassionate and understanding.

"Father? Did you hear me?"

It was Remus, of course, looking at him with hope and a certain amount of excitement. Clearly, Lyall had missed something.

"I'm sorry," he said, shaking his head. "Repeat it?"

Remus smiled. "I was wondering if we'd be able to go downtown for a bit. We'd be home before nightfall."

"Yes. Yes of course. Although I would prefer it if you boys were home a few hours before sunset, actually." These were dangerous times they lived in, after all.

Remus nodded his head. "Yes, sir, thank you."

And then James Potter was leading his friends away, the three of them talking merrily about something or another that Lyall wasn't really paying a lot of attention to.

The minutes passed and the house was once again silent.

He couldn't help but hope that Remus did not love Sirius Black, or even if he did he hoped that it was unrequited. Of course Lyall wanted Remus to find love and happiness . . . what parent didn't want that for their child? But he also didn't want Remus to get as hurt as badly, and Lyall felt sure that the hurt would be bad if it were with Sirius Black.

But of course, pain and heartache were as much a part of life as joy and love.

And even if that weren't true, Lyall had a strong feeling that if there was anything going on between Remus and Sirius, it was far and away from being "unrequited."

After all, he had seen stolen glances, and he had seen the way that Sirius was more physical with Remus than the other friends. He, much like Hope, had caught them having whispered conversations where Lyall always had a feeling that Sirius was telling Remus things that he would have never told either James or Peter. There had only been a few major hints of potential feelings that had tickled Lyall's curiosity, but really, the thestral was in the details.

Lyall wasn't sure if it was love that they felt, or if it was a mutual crush. For all he knew they were already neck-deep in a relationship, and Remus had just neglected to let them know. At the same time, for all he knew both of them had feelings for one another, but neither of them had ever admitted it.

He wasn't quite sure how he felt about all of it, but he could tell from the look in her eyes that Hope was thinking about all the same things he was. He thought about asking her what she thought about it, but he knew that she would share none of his fears: she did not grow up hating the House of Black and all that they stood for, and so when she saw Sirius all she saw was her son's loyal and charming sixteen-year-old friend.

Really, that was only fair.

That night when the boys came home they talked animatedly of the adventures they had had in the town, and Lyall couldn't help but notice the way Remus seemed to keep moving his chair to be closer to Sirius, or how Sirius's hands occasionally brushed Remus's when they thought no one was looking.

Lyall couldn't help but think that it was the third major sign he had seen as opposed to just flashes and looks, and he suddenly realized how important it was that he accepted Sirius Black in a way that he would not just as one of his son's friends, but as his son's partner.

And really, even he had to admit that Sirius Black was a really good kid. Lyall didn't want Remus to get hurt, but he, like all fathers, had to accept the reality in which they weren't always going to be able to protect their children in such ways. If that was who Remus wanted to be with, how could Lyall put up a fuss? After all they had already been through?

x

**A/N:** And there you go! Please do review, and feel free to give me tips that you think could improve my writing, mention potential Lyall / Hope-related one-shots you would like to see, whatever. Keep in mind that I eat reviews for breakfast, and surely you don't want me to starve?


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